Today is a historic day—one that will bring joy to the
hundreds of millions of Pluto lovers around the globe. The International
Astronomical Union (IAU), the body that is responsible for naming and
classifying objects in the cosmos, has just announced that Pluto has been
reclassified as a major planet. That’s right, the little dwarf will be
rejoining the ranks of Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus,
Neptune, and Planet-X (the planet that will surely spell doom for all
humanity).
As many of you know, in 2006, the IAU made their infamousvote, deciding to demote everyone’s favorite planet to a “dwarf planet.” Their
reasoning was that too many people would confuse Pluto (the doggy of Disney
fame) with Pluto (the planet, of space and stuff). Immediately after this 2006
announcement, the public exploded with outrage. There were a number of
campaigns launched that were aimed at ensuring that Pluto was reinstated as a
planet. These met with no success. Pluto was officially classified as a dwarf planet.
But all of that just changed, After years of deliberation, the
IAU announced in a press release that they have reclassified the icy world—they
upgraded Pluto back to its proper standing as a planet. “We simply
underestimated the public’s attachment to Pluto.
We realized our error shortly after the decision came down to demote it,” said Dr. Amy Joggy, professor at the Institute of Planetary Studies and head of the IAU’s Planetary Classification and Experimental Nomenclature Task Force. “We didn’t think anyone would really care if a little clump of ice and rock on the outskirts of the solar system was reclassified. Clearly, we dun messed up, and that makes me super sad face. Today, we take steps to correct this most grievous of errors.”
In addition to Pluto’s reclassification, Dr. Joggy has also
proposed that the IAU create a new category of planet called a “hyper-planet.”
These hyper-planets, according to Dr. Joggy, are like regular planets but at
least two times as awesome (thanks to the fancy, fancy name).
It has also been proposed that Pluto be made an honorary
member of this new planetary class. “In all honesty, we feel bad for the way we
treated Pluto and, more importantly, all those that cared about it so greatly-
the public showed us our error. Hopefully, the new class of planet will be
created without a hitch, and Pluto will be added as the first member. It’s only
fair.”
